It’s been hours since the sun has gone down, I lay here and ache.
You have drained me down to the last vapors of energy that even the thought of sleep is exhausting.
I wonder why I do this, I check clinical guides for the increasing and surely the opening symptoms of insanity. I wait for sleep but it will provide little refuge.
In dreams gravity ceases to exist, all my efforts to gain forward momentum do little, as you drift further away through the piercing strands of sunlight.
The silhouettes dance in the distance enticing me to join but it’s impossible, I try to yell out but I know that you are gone, but still I chase, each breath more difficult than the last, tears stream almost as quickly as my heart beats.
My body goes numb and I fight, I fight to wake, to escape the dream but when I wake nothing has changed, I know you are still out there, and I know that I will follow helplessly.
I look to others for reasoning but the answers are the same that I will give myself, blinding faith convinces me that it can get better that I will find what it was that lead me here to start. So I continue to beat myself down, to build you up, in the desperate search for the highest high that only you can deliver.
All photos © 2017 Brett Rothmeyer.